Negotiation is Problem Solving, explained by 20 Professor of Wharton Business School

After teaching negotiation at the Wharton School for 20 years, Mori Taheripour challenges the widespread misconception that business deals must end with a winner and a loser. Rather than treating negotiations as zero-sum battles, Taheripour frames them as collaborative problem-solving opportunities rooted in genuine human connection and respectful dialogue. Through her teaching and writing, she guides entrepreneurs to move past the fear of rejection, reframe "no" as a source of critical feedback, and embrace an abundance mindset to expand value. Her methodology demonstrates how intentional transparency and empathy establish long-term trust and turn single transactions into repeatable business partnerships.

A good negotiation is not one person winning and the other person losing. It is two people coming together, addressing a problem, and walking away feeling better because of it. Usually that does not mean you got everything you wanted. It means you were able to work through a problem and come to a solution feeling satisfied, feeling like you accomplished your goals. And because it was such a good experience, you can do it again and again.

It is about human connection. It is about communication that feels respectful and open.

In some ways I think it is even more important in business. You do not want a one-time customer. You want a customer who comes back to you every time, so the relationship really matters. I understand the objection, but it goes back to the misconception that negotiation is about winning and losing. It is not. There is room for everybody.

My students sometimes say, I am just buying a car, I am never going to see this person again, so why does it matter? They are likely to give you a better deal if you treat them kindly and with respect. A relational approach does not mean you are going to become best friends for the rest of your lives. It means you treat people in a way that suggests that if you came back, you would do so because what you both experienced was pleasant. A lot of studies have shown that when we think we will never see someone again, or we do not feel a sense of connection, we are more likely not to behave very well.

Nobody likes to hear no. We are afraid of it because we feel like somebody has rejected us. The reason I say a good no is sometimes better than a bad yes is that if we use no as an opportunity to get more information, it allows us to problem solve. The next time you ask, you can ask in a different way that they might say yes to, because you asked why it did not work.

If you ask for something and somebody just says yes, that is wonderful. But if you do not know what they said yes to, you have learned nothing. Did they say yes because they have a bigger budget right now? Then the next time you go to them, they will say no because that budget is gone. Did they say yes because it was a really good day for them?

We all celebrate yeses and we are all afraid of nos. But if you stop thinking about no as a closed door and start thinking of it as a way to problem solve, you can almost embrace it. You should not be afraid to ask why, and it should not stop you from negotiating. It is more like, okay, they said no. Maybe it can be a yes next time. Let me see what I can do.

Abundance is the notion that there are opportunities, that there are more possibilities than limitations, that if I do this it could end up in a really great place. It is the opposite of fear, in the sense that you embrace chances and take a risk because what could go well is far more worth it. Fear keeps us from taking chances, and what it does is take your brain hostage. You think about everything as being really limited. One mindset is based on possibility and the other on limitation. It is very hard for some people to get there, and very important for all of us to get there.

I will take it a step further. It is not that the pie is big enough. The pie can get bigger.

Some of my small business owners and entrepreneurs say, we are going to increase our prices because everything is more expensive for us to make these days, and if we do not, it will put us out of business. But the fear of losing a client keeps them from doing it. So now they are shouldering all of those expenses and their profit margin gets smaller and smaller. You are hurting yourself because you are thinking from a fear perspective.

Instead, think about it this way. They value us so much that they want what we do for them, so let me explain why we need to increase our prices. When you think about it that way, there is room for both parties, and over time you may get more business from that client, because they trust you. You are the person they will choose when they get another big budget. When you tell people why, they can understand and support you. When you just say we have to raise prices, nobody likes that. Nobody wants to pay more. So rather than being afraid to do it, learn how to explain it so they can understand. You will be pleasantly surprised, because people will often say yes.

When you start thinking about negotiation not as war but as problem solving, what we find is that the more information we share, the easier it is to solve the problem. One of the big myths is that you should not say anything. But if you do not say anything, how do you solve a problem? Solving a problem takes communication. It takes back and forth.

I am definitely not saying tell somebody everything. You have to be intentional, and by intentional I mean prepared. Before the negotiation, think in three columns. The first column is information I can share. It will not hurt me, and it will actually help me. The second column is information I will decide on in the room, once I see how much I trust them. The third column is information I should not tell them at all. It is none of their business, and it could hurt me if I shared it. Your bottom line, for example. Nobody has to know the most you are willing to pay for something, because you want to pay less.

I think it is beneficial to share more than you believe you should. We are solving a problem, and there is a dynamic back and forth. That is how relationships are built and how trust is established. It will be different for everybody and for every negotiation, because how much you trust the other person is different. So be in the moment. Use your emotional intelligence and your attention to determine it, but also prepare for it, and be more open than closed.